Unfiltered Thoughts I Probably Shouldn’t Post (But Did Anyway)

Sometimes my brain serves up thoughts that are either weirdly profound or profoundly weird. Here are a few I’ve collected this week, completely unedited and mostly unhelpful.

1. Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every 3 hours screaming?

2. I’m convinced half of adulthood is just keeping a mental list of which towels are for guests only.

3. I don’t want to be rich, I just want to be able to buy guac without checking my bank account.

4. If we can put a man on the moon, why can’t we create a charger that doesn’t mysteriously vanish every 2 days?

5. I want to go somewhere where no one asks, “So, what do you do?” Just vibes. Just snacks.

6. Jeans were invented by someone who hates knees.

7. Why do we say “hold your horses” like that’s a normal thing people are doing all the time?

8. “Skipping breakfast” sounds rebellious until you realize it just means you’re cranky and eating chips at 11 a.m.

9. I’ll never be as mysterious as the people who leave their Spotify on “private session.”

10. Nothing humbles you like trying to open a plastic produce bag at the grocery store.