They say the early bird gets the worm. Well, I tried waking up at 5:30 a.m. every day this week, and let me tell you — I am not the bird. I am the very tired worm. Here’s how it went.
Day 1: Pure delusion
I woke up with high hopes, brewed some tea, journaled about my “intentions,” and watched the sun rise. Felt unstoppable… until 3 p.m., when I crashed and fell asleep sitting up like a broken action figure.
Day 2: I became a ghost
Stared blankly at my wall for 15 minutes after waking up. Forgot how to make coffee. Forgot my name briefly. The vibes were haunted.
Day 3: Is this enlightenment or exhaustion?
I think I astral projected while brushing my teeth. I did get a lot done before noon though, which felt illegal.
Day 4: Started arguing with birds
Why are they so loud at sunrise? What are they yelling about? Do they have jobs?
Day 5: The grand finale (aka I slept through all my alarms)
My body finally revolted. I woke up at 9:45, drooled on my pillow, and didn’t feel even a little bad about it.
